in, out
in, out
unlike I've ever felt it before, I can tell that my heart is pumping blood through my body.
in, out
in, out
struggling, where normally it's thriving, my body feels like a heavy, lumbering thing, that has a will of its own, which won't listen to my pleading voices.
"may I eat something?" NO, said the grand smelly thing
"may the things which do manage to get into my stomach stay there?" NO, said the unmoving sweaty log
"may I please please please lay on the floor of the balcony so I can listen to her?"... hmmmmggg grumbled the feverish beast
and so I lumber, clumsily, feverishly, sweaty and smelly, back to the light of the living room, and the sound of your soft crying. with each step, I feel it again.
in, out
in, out
I put on my coat and wrap a blanket around my legs
in, out
in, out
I stumble outside, and see you, crying like a victorian child, which is funny, because I look like a dying victorian child. you're serene, beautiful, melancholic. I say some stupid things about how everything will be alright, but you tell me you know. you know that. sometimes you just have to cry.
in, out
in, out
GET BACK TO BED, says the burning overlord
in, out
in, out
'no', I think as I crawl onto the floor. 'I'll be happier here', I think.
in, out
in, out.