A 15-minute timer starts every time I press the "slightly bigger than a small coffee" button on my machine. It ticks down while I finish making my breakfast, while I feed the cat and tend to the plants. It counts, ever so slowly, while I rush to the bathroom; a not-entirely unexpected consequence of yesterday's beers, and it finishes counting just as I reach the kitchen sink to wash my hands.
"Ngrrrhhhhhh... znnnnnnnnnnnnnnn".
Thus spoke the machine, dumping disgusting "self-cleaning assist" water in my until-now delicious coffee.
For fuck's sake.